8 tips and tricks to fix wordiness in your writing

Do you struggle with writing that is wordy or unclear? So do I! How can we filter out unnecessary words and constructs? Read on to find out!

1. Replace Passive Voice with Active Voice

If I had to choose only one way to increase concision and clarity, I would declare active voice the MVP. In my years as a scientist, I was trained to use passive voice for my writing to help it sound unbiased and detached. (Did you catch that the previous sentence is in passive voice?) But most writing is better when it is dynamic, fresh, and simple. Passive voice often requires adding words and creating complex structures to make our point.

The following 2 sentences are written in passive voice:

1. The verdant countryside was traversed by the jolly party of hikers.

2. The acquisition of shelving is required before the organization of the lab can be completed.

Here are the same sentences in active voice:

1. The jolly party of hikers traversed the verdant countryside.

2. Scientists must acquire shelving to organize the lab. (Ok, yes, I did more than just eliminate passive voice on this one.)

Ask the following questions to help spot passive voice in your writing:

• Is the doer of the action absent from your sentence? If so, the sentence is likely written in passive voice.

• Does your sentence have a prepositional phrase containing the word by, or is there an implicit by in the sentence? When using passive voice, we often have to add by to show what or who did the action.

• What nouns can be converted to a verb or an infinitive? Look for nouns ending in -tion and -ing. In sentence 2, I converted acquisition to acquire and organization to organize.

2. Eliminate expletive phrases

Ha! No, I don't mean four-letter words, although, sure, eliminating those would make your writing more concise. I mean phrases like the following:

• There is/are/was

• This is/was

• Here is/are/was

• It is/was

The following 2 sentences contain expletives:

1. Are there nouns that can be converted to verbs?

2. There is a need for volunteers at the food pantry.

A possible fix:

1. What nouns can be converted to verbs? (passive) or Can you convert nouns to verbs? (active).

2. Volunteers are needed at the food pantry (passive). Or, the food pantry needs volunteers (active).

Be brutal. Almost always, you can make your writing more concise and clear by ridding it of expletive phrases.

3. Look for prepositions that might be complicating the sentence

Often, a sentence that needs simplifying contains a lot of prepositions.

Some examples:

1. In a triathlon, athletes must compete in the sports of running, swimming, and biking.

2. With a look to the past in the 1800s, children historically began the process of reading at the age of six when they started going to school.

A possible fix:

1. To compete, triathletes must run, swim, and bike.

2. In the 1800s, children began reading when they started school at the age of six.

4. Evaluate to be phrases

Did you notice that many of the constructs I've been talking about have phrases containing the words to be?

The following sentences contain to be:

1. Who are the doctors that can provide surgeries?

2. We are determined to be dedicated to our customers' needs.

A possible fix:

1. Which doctors provide surgeries?

2. We are dedicated to our customers' needs.

5. Locate redundancies

Redundancies can be difficult to spot. A text can be redundant at the following levels:

• Structural: occur when multiple sections of a document contain too much of the same information

• Paragraph: occur when too many phrases, words, or concepts are repeated within the same paragraph or those around it

• Sentence: occur when the same words or ideas are contained within the sentence; this is especially common when a list is involved.

How do you fix redundancies? Sometimes you can eliminate them. Sometimes a better word choice is needed.

The following sentences contain (some admittedly extreme) redundancies:

1. When dancing in a ballet, a ballet dancer may dance in the corps and switch to dancing as a demi-soloist in a different scene in the ballet.

2. These cakes are sure to satisfy:

• German chocolate cake

• Pineapple upside-down cake

• Raspberry delight cake

A possible fix:

1. In a show, a ballerina may perform various roles, switching from a corps piece in one scene to a demi-soloist in another.

2. These cakes are sure to satisfy:

• German Chocolate

• Pineapple Upside-down

• Raspberry Delight

Not all repetition is bad. Often saying things in slightly different ways helps readers of different backgrounds and stages of life understand and engage. But if you want to be concise, look for ways to cut repetitious words, phrases, and content.

6. Engage your senses by reading out loud

Our senses are powerful tools that provide multiple ways to observe and evaluate the world. When reviewing your writing, reading out loud provides tactile and auditory cues. A passage that trips up your tongue or sounds convoluted to your ears will likely benefit from revision.

7. Take a break

Sometimes if you give your writing some space, you will come back to it with a fresh set of eyes. Cutting unnecessary text may be easier after some time away.

8. Be wise

Did you read some of my changes and think, Well, I rather liked that the way it was? Elimination sometimes removes nuance, emphasis, and lyricysm. So be wise about slashing text. Ask yourself if your reader would benefit from simplification. When we prioritize their needs and desires, the best decision becomes clearer.