Beware of the dreaded "What If"

Growing up with an English teacher for a grandpa could be equally enlightening and infuriating. He constantly corrected our grammar and crafted intentionally confusing answers to our poorly worded questions, yet he provided enormous encouragement when we produced stories or poems for him. Although he kept his opinions close, he served as our life coach during key moments in our lives.

Before I was even aware that a mantra was a thing, he would often remind me to "beware of the dreaded 'what if.'" I was too young to comprehend his meaning the first time he offered this sage advice. I envisioned a "what if" being something like the Jaberwock from Lewis Caroll's imagination. I was both mystified and terrified by what a "what if" could be and why I should be wary of it.

As he repeated this mantra throughout my life, I grew to understand that this simple phrase packed many implications.

Unrecognized "what ifs" rob us of reaching for our full potential

Beware can have multiple connotations. It can mean to guard against something or to be watchful in a way that allows detection. We have many mindsets that operate underneath the surface of our everyday actions and reactions. If we are unaware of these mindsets, especially the ones that trigger caution and criticism, then they impact the goals we set, the dreams we pursue, and the trajectory of our lives. Becoming aware of these "what ifs" puts the power back into our conscious minds, where we can make logical and informed decisions over the "what ifs."

"What ifs" are the weak reasons behind the fear of failure

It's hard to believe that a weak excuse could hold power over a strong desire to pursue a dream. But from experience, I know my "what ifs" do just that; they give voice to weak reasons driven by the stronger desire to avoid failure. We imagine that failure would be more difficult than chasing after a big dream—all that striving, all that difficulty, all that time might not result in accomplishing the ambitions that are tugging at our hearts. Imagining all the scenarios that could go wrong, all the ways we could fail, makes us abandon hope before it even begins.

Flipping the "what ifs" shifts our mindset

But what if we believed that those things tugging at our hearts were stronger than the "what ifs" keeping us trapped in a state of limbo? What if when we voiced a negative "what if," we immediately combatted it with a positive one? What if the longing to grow overpowered the longing to succeed?

Flipping a negative "what if" to a positive "what if" can free us to venture and to dream not just for ourselves but also for others.

What are your "what ifs"?

Are there questions that hold sway over a pull on your heart to pursue that calling lodged deep in your soul? Beware! The dread that is intrinsic to those "what ifs" isn't worth the safety they provide.

What if we fought back against them?

We could gain freedom.